It's hard to make friends in Palm Springs because, in my 50s, I'm one of the younger residents. Many retirees move here.

Shelly Karpaty says she recently moved to Palm Springs, California, where most people are retired.

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• I moved to Palm Springs from Silicon Valley in my 50s for a change of pace. 
• Though I like it here, many people are already retired, and I've had a hard time making friends. 
• Some early friendships fizzled out, but I'm not giving up on meeting new people.

I'm in my 50s and live in a community in Palm Springs of mostly retired people. As one of the youngest people here, it's hard to find friends.

In the Coachella Valley, over 25% of residents are 60 and above, which means they are mostly retirees. Plenty of snowbirds flock to the area, fleeing the cold from Canada, the Pacific Northwest, and other cold locales, whether part- or full-time. With warm temperatures year-round, the sun shining, and the view of beautiful mountains, slowing down is easy to do here with golfing, al fresco dining, and an abundance of art and entertainment.

Only three years ago, I left the world of corporate recruitment in Silicon Valley, where I'd lived and built friendships for over 20 years. My children were grown, and I was no longer meeting new people through their activities. I was ready to explore the possibility of new friendships and new experiences elsewhere, and my shift into writing and teaching meditation provided the flexibility to work remotely online.

My husband, two children, and I had visited Palm Springs in the past and enjoyed the activities and slower-paced vibe, and we decided to move during the pandemic to lay down new roots. We quickly settled into the beautiful desert landscape and cotton candy sunsets, and the readily-available art and music opened a world of creative people from all walks of life infused with the throwback vibe of the Rat Pack.

Though making new friends can be difficult, especially as an adult, I was determined to make a go of it.

My first few attempts at friendship fizzled quickly

When I moved, I knew I needed to make new friends and hit the ground running. Finding creative ways to find new friends felt like dating; they all began with promise, but many quickly fizzled out.

One of the first people I made friends with was a foley artist and musician. We met at a talk for actors and filmmakers. We met for lunch a few times and found some common ground intellectually. But soon, our relationship began to feel unbalanced, and I felt like a sounding board without much in return.

Another potential friend was one of the backup singers for Dean Martin on his show in the 1970s. After hearing the fun stories, I felt like my "youth" was a bit awkward for us as we realized we didn't have much in common.

Soon, I became quick friends with the outgoing, handsome cycling instructor from the gym. We went hiking together and talked back and forth incessantly; he was becoming an actor, and I was becoming a writer. We attended a museum art party where I met some of his friends, who were pleasant enough. However, soon, for reasons I'm still not sure of, our text exchanges became less frequent, and with them, our friendship fizzled.

Then, I joined a yoga studio where there were people of all ages and backgrounds, but I didn't quite click with anyone there besides the instructor, who was preparing to move away. Though all these false starts were frustrating, I still didn't let them get me discouraged, and I'm continuing to try to meet others.

Shelley Karpaty goes to yoga studios and farmers markets to make connections with others.

Courtesy of the author

I've found a few good places to connect with people

I visit the farmer's markets multiple times a week in all the surrounding towns. Talking with the vendors and sampling their delicious baked goods is a great way to meet locals who live here all year round.

I'm also still going to various yoga studios and walking along the abundant hiking trails, which feels like another great way to meet people who have similar interests. On the first Sunday of every month, I visit the Palm Springs Vintage Market to find upcycled and reclaimed items to add to my home. While I'm there, I spend time schmoozing with others who are also interested in vintage goods.

Taking a 45-minute ride up to the high desert towns of Yucca Valley and Joshua Tree also provides a whole new environment and landscapes to discover. The shop owners in the area are relaxed and friendly, and there's always fresh food, handmade bread, and thrift shops with items from the past ranging from the pioneer era to the disco era.

I am honing the art of small talk, and I'm perfectly happy to take my time making connections. Right now, I'm doing things I enjoy and making acquaintances along the way; I know that as I do so, there is a possibility a few of them may become long-term friends.

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